Poetry and Writing - MiddleNameLove.com

Welcome to my life: this is Joy

I know the world seems chaotic, and loneliness quietly creeps in, affecting all of us in unique ways but also shared universally. I see the trials I’ve faced—the moments of doubt, the weight of responsibility, and the struggles that have shaped me. Yet, within these challenges, I would also find strength—the strength found in vulnerability, the strength that helps me navigate this intricate dance of life, the willingness to embrace both the light and the shadows, and always emerge stronger.

I come to know a beautiful African word: "Ubuntu." This Nguni Bantu term means "I am because we are." It reminds me the truth of our shared humanity - we are only human together. I share my life, a human experience of both joy and pain. I share my life with you because I am you, and you are me.

Whether you are in your 20s, 30s, or a vibrant woman in your 40s like me, or beyond, our stories are fascinatingly familiar. I know I’m not alone in feeling like I’ve run away from who I was born to be, always searching for clarity and purpose of a life that lies just beyond the daily grind. The loss of my father during the pandemic and then a heartbreaking divorce ignited my spiritual journey of seeking truth that took me to Egypt, a month of meditation on an organic farm, and many profound transformations. Through this self-exploration, I began to reconnect with my true identity, discard my fears and attachments, live freely by accepting both myself and those around me. Today, I chose to retire early realizing retirement isn't just about stop working; it's about embarking on a new adventure, with freedom, with passion, to travel the world, and savor the small moments that make life extraordinary.

My hope is to connect with women of all ages (and really all humans) through my tales, igniting a spark of inspiration that fosters emotional resilience and positive change. Our world is a reflection of us. When we change, the world will change.

Let your heart beat here, alongside mine.

Poetry

Photos (NEW, August 2024)

Photos

I look back at my old photos,

Wow, what a full life I lived!

I look back at all my smiles,

with everyone I have met and spent a moment with.

It’s incredible to ever be with you.

What a life!

I feel so full that I could die,

and nothing will change my gratitude,

for this beautiful life!

“Saying I love you is not love,

Acceptance is love.”

I am sorry I just learned it now.

What a life!

I love you all, everyone I have ever been with,

for just a short moment, or longer.

Let’s live together,

forever,

and love.

What to do with love

What to do with Love

For you, love is so much.

For you, I would lose all of me.

For all of you that I have loved,

You have no idea how much I loved you.

Love means more than my own life.

Love means more than what I can afford and still love.

What do I do when I miss you?

Pictures.

And meditation.

And the mediation teaches me to discard all the pictures.

So perfect, Ying and Yang, it’s back to zero.

I am really strange. Indeed.

The more I feel happy the more I feel alone, and actually free.

This road is for just me to go.

Everything talks to me.

Everything is music.

“…Make believe it’s your first time.

And I will make believe it’s mine…”

I am free and yet so still.

Truth about me

Truth about me

I’m more important than thoughts of love, pride, and fame…

I’m more important than the money I worry...

I’m more important than the food that I don’t need but don’t want to waste or just want to eat.

I’m more important than the things I want to steal, mind or body.

I’m more important than other people’s opinions.

I’m more important than other people’s satisfaction.

I’m more important than that poop mind!

I’m just as important as what others have and what nature has.

Love me for I am truth and truth is the most important thing for me.

8/15, Seoul (NEW)

8/15/24 Seoul

I am here. It’s so hard to believe.

I know what I’m doing.

I don’t know what I am doing.

Maybe it’s the design,

and that’s just where I am supposed to be.

It’s so hard,

to leave everything behind me,

to say good bye to the persons I love so deeply.

It’s hard not knowing.

Because it’s different from all your life the way it’s been.

My whole life I was trying to hold on,

hold on to people and things and feelings and love,

though I don’t even have them.

I am tired of holding on.

My whole life I was pretending,

pretend to be good, be fine, be brave, be right, and be better than everyone,

though honestly I don’t know anything.

I am tired of pretending.

It hurts very much right now.

But I have all my heart and strength to go on.

However it hurts.

A hero goes on a journey.

A hero can be a person with super powers.

A hero can be someone who fight for something that matters.

I love you. To all of you.

[On the bus now riding to Gongju. I opened the blinds up. I want to see. This land looks green and like an old familiar place that still has farms, mountains and trees. I’m coming. With peaceful music in my ears and a heart full of joy and sadness. Everything is inside of me. So much. So full. So much I want to say to people. So much I want to tell them how much I love.]

I love you. To all of you.

Master says come to the ocean.

Yea. Come to the ocean.

It’s where I belong.

I know now why I feel this way when I am inside the water,

why I melt into a manta-ray and fly away.

[The bus only took two hours. Flew. It rained and it was beautiful on the side of the road. Now I’m eating ramen at the station and it’s exactly what I needed. I’m so lucky.]

How to live well (NEW, Sep. 2024)

How to live well

If you feel thirsty,

Pour some tea for the person next to you.

If you are hungry,

Offer your food to someone more hungry.

If you want to be treated,

Give your money to another who need it.

If you are struggling,

Help others who are suffering.

To live well,

Is to forget your self.

To live well,

Is to go more deeply than spa and massage and therapy.

To live well,

Is to live for others.

Like a cup with heart-shaped holes,

You take nothing, give everything.

That’s the way to live well.

And only then,

Your heart is full and your mind is clean.

You live in bliss with eternity.

Let love be free

Let Love be Free

She runs away from her family.

She takes her pride to a town where she knows nobody.

She shines so bright only to cover her dark secrets.

She is a fugitive, running inside of her own memories.

Her eyes steal pictures wherever she goes.

Her ears steal words, only fury grows.

She is a mind of illusions.

Even her body is made of rocks and trees.

She is a ghost.

She thought she’s run so far, but only to realize she’s trapped in a mirror maze that never ends.

She is a genius.

She’s created a kingdom, but only with walls made of loneliness and armies rise to betray Truth.

Truth brought her close.

She wants the Truth, so she asks…

What is Love?

Love is Truth without boundaries.

What are boundaries?

Boundaries are existence without freedom.

What is freedom?

Freedom is Truth in its entirety.

What is Truth?

Truth is when you become Me and you will see.

Let Me be free, Truth says.

Let Truth be free. Let Love be free.

Butterfly

Butterfly

Who is she?

Is she there?

She’s so pretty.

Does she even know?

She used to be ugly.

Was that ever real?

She’s busy with nature,

making everything plenty.

But fruits don’t remember her.

Does she even know?

If she knew the truth,

would she ever go?

She knows no past,

because she has no memories of the past.

She knows no future,

because she has no thoughts of the future.

She only lives,

because she is free to fly.

She only works,

because she is happy to love flowers and die.

So who is she?

She is just a butterfly.

Is she ever there?

She is just a butterfly.

Even if she knew the truth,

she couldn’t tell you the truth.

She is one with the truth.

She is just a butterfly.

New Universe Baby

New Universe Baby

I am the baby.

The seed of life is inside of me.

Mom and Dad is inside of me, from the very very beginning

They have always been with me.

They came to life because of me.

Thank you mom and dad for having me.

I am the baby.

They will never leave me as I am life, I am the baby, the seed of life is inside of me.

I need water to wash away my impurity. (Karma)

I need universe to root, not the ghost ground that used to hold me down. (Habits)

I need nutrients to grow, all my gratitude I have for mom and dad. (Body)

I am a seed and I grow like a baby, naturally,

As everything is alive inside of me.

Thank you mom and dad for having me.

I am the baby.

I am alive.

As long as I live I will be like mom and dad.

As long as i live I will act like mom and dad.

And if I live my life as their baby,

I will live eternally.

Thank you mom and dad for having me.

See you soon (NEW)

See you soon

My home is with you,

wherever you have been.

We hold a promise together.

That’s our family name.

The blood that flows,

The cells that grow,

Every piece of me is mixed with yours.

My life is with you,

However it will go.

Your love stayed and grew everyday,

Even after your passing away.

I am the happiness of dawn.

In your eyes,

I am that one bright pearl in the palms of God.

Cannot hold it afraid it will break.

Cannot carry in your mouth cause it might melt.

Very very special moments,

I remember all of them.

I can count them with my fingers,

enough to last a life time,

for me to carry on.

I could feel your hands when you held my tiny feet.

I could feel your smile when you washed away oil from my hair.

We did hug once or twice.

The most of all,

was when you said “I love you” in Chinese,

on a video chat once.

I can never decide,

whether you are far,

Whether you are near.

Your legacy won’t be lost.

Wonder land is near the end.

On my way home (NEW)

Business owner

Business owner

Once there is a security question, that asks what was your dream job when you were a child?

My answer has always been, a business owner, an entrepreneur, things of that sort.

That question still bugs me, I think about how to become this “business owner,” every day.

I quit my day job. I started up a non-profit.

Does that make me a business owner? Not quite.

It’s a hard job, isn’t it, to know what business owner do you want to be.

Do I like selling things? No.

Do I own anything that I can offer to this big giant world? Don’t know.

Where do I begin?

Today, I found a good answer, at least a starting point.

What better owner there is, if I can master myself?

What business can be better, if I am owning my truth and live and tell the world exactly the way it is?

It may be a long journey, but that’s why we are given one day at a time, that’s the truth.

No matter how much pain and suffering you are made to go through, at the end, you still live.

No matter how many thorns you are supposed to pluck away from yourself, you have to do it, no one else can do it for you.

So, that’s my business!

Everything else, just falls into places, and not my business.

Mother

Mother

“mother” was something I was afraid of,

Mother.

“mother” was something I wanted so much of,

Mother.

I had no idea that I will meet a mother like you,

Mother.

Thank you Mother, I really didn’t know,

Mother.

I didn’t know I could grow and learn, to know you,

Mother.

I can feel your presence inside of me, I really know you now,

Mother.

I don’t deserve all of this, but thank you for all the presents you have sent for me,

Mother.

Thank you for everyone and everywhere you have shown me, how to change.

That greedy little child used to take everything, she didn’t know who is there to trust and who will be there for her, really.

The very things I complain about them it’s all because of me.

I will change for you,

Mother.

I will change for you,

Father.

I will walk patiently to you so you can see me, on the other end,

Mother.

I will not stop until everyone is there to complete me,

Mother.

Love you, your child, little moon.

Pink angels

Pink angels

Left in the water.

Time slows down.

No one is here.

No directions I found.

Just that water I can hear.

It’s nature.

She heard me.

The more I swim the more I know.

I didn’t lose anything that I never know.

Water by my feet.

Ripples are not there to kill me.

They were supposed to lift me

Heavenly protected.

I don’t need performance to live.

I am Nature.

I am the pink angel.

I love and I give everything to the world

To see me.

I’m sorry it’s my fault (NEW)

Welcome to my life: this is Joy

Poetry

My life as the way it is

Al Morris (former colleague)

Al Morris (former colleague)

Vicky Theodoropoulos (Client)